Monthly Archives: February 2013


Nearing 35

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In my teenage years, whenever I try to imagine what I would be when I grow older, I will always picture a 23 years old bloke driving a convertible down along a coastal road. That to me is an image of a well-accomplished adult. Hence, I cannot really understand or reconcile what became of me since 2002. Not only am I not well-accomplished, I do not own a car and I have yet to learn how to drive.

When I started pre-school, mum and dad were in their late twenties and I thought 30 years old is considered old age. Yet when I celebrated my 30th birthday, I felt like I was still a child. I believe one of the filial piety acts is to let my mum mother me, however old I am.  Her recent chants are “you’re not young anymore” and “you need to seriously plan and prepare for your future”. Yet, that is follow by the “have you eaten” and “don’t stay out too late” chorus. In parents’ hearts, they look forward to their children all grown up; in their eyes, their children will never grow up.

Friends around me have started to get married and I have lost count of the wedding receptions that I have attended the last decade. The ceremonies are pretty much the same (read: unoriginal). Good food and reunions are what I look forward to. These days, it has become impossible to meet up with school mates outside of these heavily-planned events. After all, weddings are still better events to host school reunions than funerals. Of course, there are the baby showers which I am usually and coincidentally out of town.

Having lived in cities outside of Singapore only makes me want to stay away from my own country even more. My first overseas stint was in 2008 when I was seconded to Bangkok. While I was only working full-time in the Bangkok office for half a year, the subsequent year of monthly travel back up, allowed me to nurture my love for this city of angels. Till date, whenever I have a chance to visit Singapore, I will always sneak in a side trip to Bangkok. I have now lived in Sydney for more than two years. Fortunately, there is a good community of Thai people and food here to continuously feed my obsession for things Thai. My best mate is Thai. To me, he is more Aussie than Thai since he lived here for the last decade. But I shall settle.

As much as I want a greater certainty on what is to come in the next few years – specifically if I will and can still stay in Sydney – I do not wish to force out a decision. I have been receiving remarks asking me to return back to Singapore. Yet ironically, these friends will not meet me more often than now even if I would to live in Singapore. Modern telecommunication and social media platforms have allowed me to keep in touch with people whether they are staying miles away or on the move when they travel. My conversations with some close mates never cease whether I am residing in Sydney or travelling in Laos; whether I am at work or in commute.

While I still live in denial and still looking forward to reach my ideal 23; the real me at 34, automatically inherit the mindset that I better start to plan for the future. Defiantly, I shall plan not to have any major plans for the next one year… till I am 35!


The real world goes like this…

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The real world goes like this: what goes up must come down. The real world is being governed by gravity and other forces. In order to survive and emerge well, one needs to know the rules and regulations that govern the life game. One needs to acknowledge the hand that moves the pawn. Even if you are the mighty queen, it does not mean you would not be sacrificed. There is still a mightier one and there is always a more previous one.

Meandering in the real world is smooth sailing if you are in the dominant wind direction. It becomes harsh when you are the salmon swimming upstream. Yes, you were certain that it is your calling when you started the pilgrimage. Yet, when you see the black bear along the gravity-defying climb, you are bound to doubt. Even so, many will arrive at their destination. Then, they earned their rights to spawn. The cycle continues.